Vickie Joyce Zancker Durham, beloved mother, grandmother, partner, sister-in-law, and friend, passed away peacefully, held in the love of family and lifelong friends on January 6, 2026, at Hearts of Hope Home Care in Olathe, Kansas. She was eighty-one years old. A woman of deep faith, steady grace, humble strength, and quiet transformation, she lived most of her life in Wyandotte County, Kansas City, Kansas—close to the people and places she loved most.

Vickie’s favorite scripture, Philippians 4:4–8, guided her life:

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!

Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds.....

Born on July 21, 1944, in Prince George County, Maryland, Vickie was adopted as an infant by Estel and Fern Zancker of St. Joseph, Missouri. She moved to Kansas City, Kansas at an early age and graduated from Wyandotte High School. Even as a young woman, she possessed the qualities that would come to define her life: curiosity, competence, intuition about people, and a spirit that drew others in.

Faith was the steady center of Vickie’s world. She was a devoted member of both Wesley United Methodist Church and Victory Hills Church of the Nazarene. She married Gilbert, her husband of 32 years, at Wesley, raised her family at Victory Hills, and returned to Wesley thirty years later after the passing of her husband. For decades, the church was her home—her community, her calling, her joy. She offered her gifts freely: singing as a beautiful soprano in the choir, serving as church treasurer for more than twenty-five years, organizing the women’s group, coordinating Mexican Train Dominoes nights, supporting charity work, and showing up wherever she was needed.

Vickie carried those values into her work as well. In the 1980s, she joined the Board of Public Utilities as a secretary in the audit department, where she became more than an employee—she became a blessing. Colleagues remembered her as exceptionally intelligent, quick to learn, eager to take on new skills, and wonderful with people. She soon left the secretarial role to take a position in the Water Processing Department—a traditionally male job that few women attempted at the time. She became a trailblazer, stepping into a new world with her characteristic mix of courage, practicality, and determination. At work, she often spoke tenderly and proudly of her family—Gilbert, and her children Audra and Josh—until her coworkers felt like they knew them too.

She brought that same warmth to her home life. As a mother and grandmother, Vickie was profoundly supportive—steady, encouraging, and present. She often said, especially in her final days, “I lived a good life. I raised two adventurous children and got to watch my two grandsons grow up into great young men.”

She took her grandsons—Tino and Ari—on many trips over the years, with Disney World being one of the most cherished. On her many visits to New York, she brought them to Broadway shows and the Rockefeller Center Christmas Spectacular. She loved exploring new foods, new restaurants, and new experiences with them. She was the kind of grandma who played board games and bought back-to-school clothes and supplies for the boys every year.

Vickie also cultivated lifelong friendships and communities. She bowled for decades at Ranch Bowl and KC Bowl, organized game nights, and traveled with her close-knit “Traveling Sisterhood.” She delighted in people—so much so that when she once watched Audra stop to chat warmly with a stranger in New York, Vickie smiled and said, “You know, Audra never met a stranger.” A gift Audra inherited from her mother.

Perhaps the most remarkable thing about Vickie was that she continued to grow. “My mom didn’t stay the same,” Audra said. “She grew and changed.” Vickie softened over the years—deepened, expanded, embraced new understandings of compassion, forgiveness, and acceptance. She lived her faith by feeding the poor, welcoming the outsider, and aspiring simply to be “a Christian like Jesus.”

Vickie is survived by her son, Joshua Durham; her daughter, Audra Durham-Tsanos; her son-in-law, Christopher Tsanos; her grandsons, Constantine and Aristotle Tsanos; her second life-partner of twenty-six years, James Stauch; her beloved sister-in-law and dear friend, Carol Schmitz; her brother-in-law, Michael Schmitz; her niece, Jenny Schmitz; her nephews, Matthew and Jay Schmitz, and their families; her grand-nieces, Jill Snow, Alicia Turner, and Kelley Henderson, and their families; her grand-nephew, Nathan Stauch; her grand-nephew, Joe Anderson, and his family; and her grand-niece, Stephanie Anderson.

She was preceded in death by her husband of thirty-two years, Gilbert Ray Durham; her parents, Estel Zancker and Fern Hill; her parents-in-law, Virgil and Opal Durham.

In her final months, Vickie was cared for with tenderness and respect by the extraordinary staff at Advent Hospital Shawnee Mission Oncology, the loving team at Hearts of Hope Home Care, and the compassionate angels of Ascend Hospice. Their kindness made her passing peaceful and gentle.

Her memorial service will be held on February 14, 2026, at 11 a.m. Wesley United Methodist Church in Kansas City, followed by a reception. A celebration of her life will take place at 3:30 that afternoon at KC Bowl—one of her happiest places on earth.

In honor of Vickie’s commitment to service, donations may be made to Cross-Lines Community Outreach Center.

Vickie’s life revealed how faith can steady a soul, how kindness can change a room, and how a heart can keep expanding no matter how life has tested it. She leaves a legacy of laughter, generosity, music, devotion, and love—gifts she shared everywhere she went. Her spirit will forever resonate in the hearts of those who knew her.

“Celebrate small victories… Be grateful for today.”

Vickie lived these words with a sincerity that remains her gift to us all.