Sandra “Sandy” Jean Wirtel Kutey, 59, of St. Louis, Missouri passed away on July 27, 2026, at University of Kansas Hospital surrounded by her loving family.
Born on November 7, 1966, to Marlene Helen (Pressy) and the late William Robert Wirtel, Sandy graduated from Nerinx Hall in Webster Groves, Missouri, in 1985. She was known for being a relentless fighter and a fierce advocate for justice. At just 16 years old, she represented herself in court after receiving a ticket (and won the case) which set off her lifelong legal career. Sandy always wanted to do what is right and practice the values with which she was raised; she was honored to help others during some of their most difficult moments. For over three decades, she represented thousands of parents and children in family court while also advocating to improve the system itself. Sandy was incredibly proud of representing 45 adoption cases and witnessing the impacts it had on the children’s and families’ lives.
Sandy graduated from Saint Louis University before entering law school at the University of Missouri – Kansas City in 1989. In her first year of law school, she had her first battle with cancer and was suddenly balancing homework and chemotherapy. Ever the fighter, she beat cancer, graduated law school, received her alma mater’s Decade Award and founded the school’s Child and Family Service’s Clinic as its original director. Never one to accept at face value what others thought was inevitable, Sandy refused to accept the medical profession’s statement that, after cancer, she would not have children. She simply told the doctor, “That’s not an option.” She was correct: within three years, the world was introduced to Adam, followed shortly by Will and Doug.
The phrase “when a cardinal appears, an angel is near” is a phrase that applies to Sandy’s life. A cardinal appeared for Sandy, worn on the hat of a man who became the love of her life, Thomas “Tom” Joseph Kutey. Tom and Sandy had so much in common that a life together was all but inevitable. Their shared joy was obvious (and contagious) to anyone who knew them. The two connected on a shared love of golf, wine, St. Louis, laughter, baseball, music, food, reading, and travel. On September 8, 2012, the two married and Sandy gained two more sons, Jack and Sammy. Sandy was diagnosed with breast cancer again in 2013, which she also beat, but it eventually metastasized to her bones in 2020, and in 2026 into other parts of the body including her brain and liver. She had expressed that her family brought her happiness and motivated her to keep fighting.
To know Sandy was to know a dedicated, brilliant, empathetic, resilient, humorous woman who inspired us to become the best versions of ourselves. She always led by example and would take on challenging tasks if they were the right thing to do. Sandy thrived with challenges, perhaps even viewing them as another competition, and continued to have the will to fight her entire life. She looked up to her father tremendously and used his teachings on positive thinking even when it was not the easy thing to do. Her bright spirit will live on: in the laughter of her grandchildren, in the wisdom she passed on to her children, and in our photos with her vibrant smile and happy colors.
Sandy is preceded in death by her father, Bill Wirtel, father-in-law, George Kutey, and sister-in law, Rebecca Kutey. She is survived by her husband Tom, and her children, Adam Brownlee, William (Candace) Brownlee, Douglas (Steven) Brownlee, Jackson (Paige) Kutey, and Samuel Kutey, and her grandchildren Nora Brownlee and Bennett Kutey. She is also survived by her mother, Marlene Wirtel, and her sisters, Susan (Kelly) Stone, Sally (Chris) Drazen, and Sharon (John) Nichols, and many beloved extended family members.
A memorial service will be held on Saturday, August 1, with a visitation at 10:00am and the service starting at 11:00am, at Advent Lutheran in Olathe, Kansas. The service will be streamed for those unable to join us in person. A celebration of life will follow on Sunday, August 2, at 2:00pm at Jan and Greg Kutey’s, 16152 S Lindenwood Drive, Olathe, Kansas. In lieu of flowers, the family requests donations be made to CaringBridge or Missouri CASA Association.